It’s a tricky situation we are in as a nation right now. Britain is caught between the bar and the ground on a very low and gritty limbo position between life and health and a bottoming economy.
If you’re from the UK then you are well rehearsed and tortured by the bombardment of issues, charts and unrelenting confusion gripping our nation at this present time.
Well don’t worry I’m not going to subject you to opinion on this matter because it’s pointless and opinions are like bum holes…everybody has them. Today I’m confiding in what has led me to a lack in conviction or determination.
Plans and projects all seemingly drifting into the Obyss of unfulfilling space. The void of living that so many right now cannot do. This in turn forces us not only as a nation but as individuals to scrap the status quo routines and form a more simplistic isolation type design.
At this moment in history we are presented the moment in time to know ourselves better, grow from self knowledge and creativity. Figure out life around us and try to make sense of where we stand in the world. Well at least that’s what we tried to do in the first lockdown.
With holidays not celebrated and Christmas season upon us the willpower to sustain a creative pulse is diminishing. I know because I’m experience it each day little by little.
I don’t speak on our creative exploits as these will always have a block at stages but more so in the sense of personal life goals. There comes a point where the hope for a steady and balanced life with possibilities becomes distant almost out of reach.
I find myself laughing at the television at serious information on the regular now as it holds no merit. What does all the bravado and vague explanations actually do?
I’m currently thinking of a new house , to travel, have a life long stable career and start a family. Once it would have been my lack of enthusiasm that would have played a role. And now the saboteur has been dealt with there lies a big ocean of blockades forced upon us first by Mother Nature and second by the people in control.
I find myself on the balance of extreme patience and tolerance and the need to keep occupied so as not to lose sight of the end target.
All the problems that some thought were there own have now become a overwhelming majority. Everyone is struggling and to most people I know and would never have thought would lose their willpower.Now they seem like a flicker of light in comparison. A shadow of their former selves.
Hope is one thing that everyone clings to. To a degree this is a catalyst to survival in cases but for perpetual or reoccurring developments your willpower is essentially what will keep you striving towards the hopeful goal.
It’s my belief that hope cannot be achieved without willpower behind it. (And you can quote me on that)
My own willpower has taken a beating. During the first lockdown, I prioritized, decorated, began TheYenner.org and set myself on a journey of discovery. This saved my bacon to be honest and kept me well rooted in passion and drive.
This however was with the understanding that there would be an end to all this destruction come November 2020. But how wrong I was and it is this that has brought me to a halt in regards to achievements for my life that I thought I would have made this year personally.
Of course I have managed to create my own achievements in regards to finally pursuing my love for art and music. But as a newly wed I also had plans to create and start an amazing life just me and my partner.
The ‘nill’power as I am now calling it has left both of us saying we’ll do something the next day or the next week and finding ourselves still doing nothing by that time because the fact is we can’t do any of those things due to lockdowns , prices , furlough, travel bans, government floundering.
It is also a longing that this frustration we are all holding and the fury for a better world and life shall pass soon.
It is taking every ounce of self preservation to hold onto what our lives could be when this is all over and I truly believe that until we see the glimmer wether it’s a vaccine or a new Vice President etc… we can spend our patience and flourish in blogging, designing and networking as a forceful outlet.
Keep doing what you do, even though it seems fruitless, keep pushing ,writing, painting, singing and orchestrating your yen. Because right now it’s the only hope we can instantly achieve with or without willpower.
Thankyou for reading
The Yenner 💻
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