To do well in anything that your passionate about can seem intimidating. For many it’s due to lack of self esteem and thinking that they just don’t have the stamina or the talent to succeed.
Throughout my life it’s been a constant theme of phases and changes without a come through moment. Skipping job to job, finding passion in something and then bailing because it’s ‘too hard’ or ‘feels like work’. I would always have an excuse wether it was the company I worked for or the people’s opinions. The latter would be my fall from grace with most of my life choices.
The moment I would begin to feel confident in what I was doing or where I was going people would give their 2 cents of advice causing my self doubt to kick in and before you know it I’m giving up on something that could have been productive and life fulfilling for me.
It has only been in recent years that I have began to see my own actions as blockades to progress. My constant excuses and listening to uneducated opinions is what would eventually lead to my own self criticism. This led to anxiety about any choice I made and eventually piles of stress which would deteriorate my mental health.
However there is a way to achieve progress without stress. First you have to be self assured above all else. People come and go and their opinions with them and it’s important to keep in mind that you are an INDIVIDUAL not a plural. Projection is something that you begin to feel and notice as you grow and people’s life choices and decisions eventually get cast into what you do.
Eg. Your parents wanting the best from you and not making the same mistakes as them.
Well that whole concept in itself is ridiculous. Yes the scenarios could be similar but you can guarantee your thought process and choices are not. We blame our parents for who we become instead of seeing they’re only a small part of it. Once you learn what’s good and what’s bad, what’s healthy and what isn’t then everything after that is your burden to bare.
Knowing who you are both faults and qualities is vital and knowing when to take advice and considering the source it’s supplied from is also important. Even then once your ready to make a choice or decision on something in your life taking the responsibility and blocking out others helps a lot. It not only builds your confidence when you make a great choice it also means you no longer need approval for your own merits.
Your stress becomes a minor thing and no longer something to keep you awake at night because where you choose to be was made by you and stress will not come into it if your no longer thinking about others opinions…get it?
Here’s an example…
When I started my university, it was a course I was passionate about and had dreams of a future that would be filled with opportunity. However recession, bad teaching and structure, advice on what I should be doing etc etc all became facts and excuses that filled my head with stress and anxiety until the point I was in hospital with ECGs attached to my chest. So I quit.
It has taken me over a decade since to filter through who I am as a person and what I do that stops me from getting over a hurdle. Since beginning this progress of blogging and designing I began to regain that yen that I had once lost and slowly built a safe place for my expressions and outlook on life both personal and fun.
This was partly due to their being no time limit, no outside influence.Just me and my thoughts and creativity. It wasn’t until I started to see potential that I began to feel like it could be something more for others and I started to see it as a valuable tool for others to express and create.
With this of course comes responsibilities and time limits for creating or constructing certain things and before you know it I’m into the thick of social media, blogs and website designs etc etc and now that lockdown had eased I was back to my 9-5 job.
This changed my routine and eventually threw me through a loophole. Trying to manage my time so as to keep my creation up and running and still trying to pay the bills.
Now it’s at this point that the old me would have became stressed and therefor my progress would become stagnant. I would procrastinate and begin to invent excuses in order to explain my lack of effort.
However maybe it’s because I am older and don’t have much time for socials these days that has allowed me to keep going. I make time for what needs done knowing that it’s my passion. I also take criticism when it’s given and I choose wether to agree or disagree without becoming stressed or upset. I have a tendency to complain about little things now and again but I learnt it doesn’t help and it really becomes infectious eventually bringing a total stop to progress.
In keeping my head down and an upbeat attitude no matter the weather or others views, it has allowed me to grow in myself.
Just yesterday on a walk I finally took the time to look at my progress and pat myself on the back for it in how far I’ve come. It’s important to give yourself the acknowledgment even when nobody else does. Be your biggest cheerleader and even when the lines becomes blurry keep following it.
Eventually once you see progress, your stress eases and you begin to feel confident and that is also infectious and flows through other people in the process.
When you get to a place where you trust yourself and your choices then when people do have an opinion or disagree strongly with something it’s so obvious where it’s coming from with them and it’s taken with a pinch of salt.
I’m not saying that you wave a magic wand to get to this point, it takes time and patience( which trust me I’ve a long way to go) but in the long run it’s healthy. Now during this time and the worlds woes I have found me and I’ve found my strengths and no longer want to please others. I can be confident in knowing that I can do it and I can find or search for others who are searching and looking the same thing.
So if you find yourself in a rut or something seems to be sticking you to the ground just remember there’s always a way to push through it’s just up to you to do so.
Thankyou for reading
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