(This is a continuation of becoming 30 series. click below for more blogs relating to this subject.)
We’ve all heard of the ‘dirty 30s’ but usually it’s just a title given to make people feel better about becoming 30…at least that’s what I think. Anyways this blog is to prove the entire opposite of this as with a bit of research and my own experience your 30’s should be an exciting and wholesome experience.
After your 20s are out of the way and you’ve experienced some difficult choices wether it be relationships, education, career or personal. once you come to the 30 goalpost you have enough tools in order to process information better. Be a better judgement of character and extend your creative outlets with more purpose and skill.
I can attest to this as I have found out recently that by combining my rusty old school and project skills I have learnt how to do things in a progressive way that not only helps my life but also releases my creativity more than it did in my 20s.
This could be due to less obstacles being in the way like naive relationships or educational scheduling. Now that I have a path and a direction with stability I can now choose my time wisely to create in all aspects and in a sensible way that helps grow my skills and overall happiness.
2.Optimum endurance and peak.
When you arrive at your 30s, although some of you may have already been gym members and active. Your 30s is when your body is at its optimum strength for endurance, stamina and focus. You may slow in speed and Training in parts but overall your body can gain more stability and take pressure for longer periods of time.
For myself I have also seen a change when it comes to my overall body. Until I was 27 I had never lifted a dumbbell or done a push-up. It became apparent parent that due to this lack in exercises my body was no showing signs of neglect, which in my late teens and early 20s I never saw or get before. Feeling lethargic and exhausted I decided enough was enough. Instead of changing my colour of hair, a new tattoo or piercing or maybe a new style simply wouldn’t cut it this time. If I was determined to change my mindset and create a better me it was now or never. Now I exercise regularly and have seen an overall difference not only in my stamina and physics but most importantly my mental state of mind. This was the game changer for me as I struggle a lot with anxiety which has been a set back in most of my challenges.
3. Patience is a virtue
Through persevering with annoying friendships or constantly being judged by your mistakes in your 20s. By the time your next decade shows up you’ve realized how important it is to have patience with people and things. Time becomes more important for you and how you spend it with those you love and with yourself. Learning not to have the last word and how to compromise becomes a healthier option for your life.
This is probably the most crucial lesson I have learnt thus far coming into my 30s because it is the most difficult to want to recognize about yourself. Nobody wants to think that they are ignorant or perhaps unaware of their impatience but once you stop and pay attention, it’s an eye opener.
Learning to actually listen to someone or waiting in line and still being polite not only serves other people but keeps you feeling optimistic and continue to live a happier life with less stress. It’s a lesson that you mostly learn in relationships especially when you are now in an adult relationship that matters.
4.Optimism is key.
Now the world at this point in time can be difficult to contemplate and in our 20s we tried every conceivable way to either control or fix it. However by the time you reach 30 you’ve seen enough things through news and history to know that life will always have these issues and instead of being mad at the world and internally hating everything, it becomes so much easier to be positive and express positivity to others.
Of course you will be met with grievances from some people but you do begin to see a pattern emerge that it is something more to do with themselves rather than you and if you constantly beam optimism about most things they too begin to change little by little.
I’ve most certainly seen this during 2020, with everyone becoming more pessimistic as the month roll in, and the news becomes a volcano of trouble. By taking the time to smile at people agree with some points but end on a good note people tend to brighten up, even in the smallest of moods. If anything it keeps you up-beat and doesn’t affect your day, allowing you to keep being productive and focused.
5.R.E.S.P.E.C.T find out what it means to me.
Your older, wiser, made plenty of mistakes and usually this was in rebellion of things your elders cast upon you…but you know better at 20.
Your older now and your parents are right…sad but true. It’s an enlightening moment but it does however give you a new found respect for those who have tried to raise you with morals and standards and it becomes more important for you to do the same for them.
For me I started to notice that not only was I becoming older but my parents also and it hit home that I’d spent most of my 20s ignoring them and constantly complaining that I was their servant most of the time. Now with a new sense of who I am and where I came from and who they are as people it became so much more important to respect their views and thoughts even if we don’t agree because it’s due to their hard efforts and guidelines that I made it this far. No matter where I find myself , they’ve always been around to help.
6.Who gives a f@*#!
“Stacy told me ….”, “we’ll I think you’re”…oh shut up! Honestly who cares. Your 20s were all about drama, hopeless dating, gossip and constant opinions and to be honest…did anything change or help you. Well after a decade you see it for what it is, a waste of time.
It causes pain to others, it’s a deflection from their own issues and it’s a waste of energy. So by now your doing you 100%.
I was partial to a gossip here and there but inevitably it would all lead to trouble for myself and I soon realised that even though it was everybody else’s problems I had bigger things going on in my life that I wasn’t dealing with. I was using these chats to distract from myself. Also in the bigger scheme of things who really cares, most of the problems I found myself in were either of my own making and I was the only one who could fix it. People say all the time that they support you blah blah blah…but at the end of it all they’re all out for themselves.
In your youth it was all about who had more friends and how popular you were and to an extent it helped base a foundation for your growth. As time moves on people leave, get married have full time jobs or have little ones of there own. Slowly you begin to see that sea of parties fade into distant figures with no room for you. Now you could be negative about the whole thing which would be a sign of immaturity or embrace those you have left. Friends you have adapted to wether they are single or have a family. You gradually become comfortable with those you trust and can rely upon and with your foundation finally intact, you have more time for you and time for friends when needed.
For me I was lucky in the fact that my friends stayed parties for at least a decade too long but on a trip to Vegas one shared the news that she was expecting and it threw our whole friend group into a frenzy, especially the single Pringle’s. It was the end of an era and chapter in all of our lives. With big changes came challenges for all of us but some how with the years earned from our 20s we have stayed loyal and supportive and happy with how we have all matured. A year or more I would’ve sworn of a relationship altogether and now I am the first of the group to marry!…just goes to show you. When you know, you know.
8.Whats wrong with being confident ?
Now that everything is fitting in to place and you no longer have time to care about people’s opinions, this also brings confidence. Not an over indulgent sense, but a certain assuring in who you are, what your faults are and strengths and you are ok with them all.
9. No thanks!
It used to be as a small town boy I would have an overly keen sense of style and fashion but was unable to wear or show them in fear of what people would say. This affected my personality, my sexuality and expression. Once you learn that everybody actually don’t retain information that long or are too self obsessed, it’s irrelevant what they think and 9/10 they end up liking what you have to offer or imitate for fear they might be behind the times. I’ve seen this happen over and over again and it’s all mixed into that big hot mess of insecurity. Stay you and be bold!
Learning to say no can be the hardest thing to manage especially if you are from the west. Manners and morals have been drilled into our minds from school and beyond. However nobody ever tells you how to be confident in saying no. This unfortunately is a lesson you will have to figure out for yourself through countless mistakes and failing friendships.
Being a people pleaser I found myself continuously saying yes to things that I didn’t necessarily want to do, all because I wanted to ‘fit in’. Turns out being cool doesn’t get you very far in life, in fact most of the ‘cool kids’ peaked in Highschool. As a result of this awakening I’ve realized that saying no to things you don’t want to do is healthier and gives you time to focus on your rather than spending it fixing other people’s problems that they can’t be bothered to fix themselves. Saying no to things is actually a sure way of gaining your independence and separating from the herd.
“Don’t peak at highschool. Peak at Life!”TheYenner 😎
10.I need a Purpose
If you are one who hopped from job to job or lived from paycheck to paycheck, it’s hard to see an escape and with so many bills, rent and loans to pay you find yourself in an ever ending whirlwind of meaningless work. When you’ve been doing this for well over 10 years you become fed up and start to feel hopeless about where your life is going. With a new decade approaching it becomes a new opportunity for you to re-invent yourself and that includes your career prospects.
This is where I am currently in my journey to 30 as I have been on the treadmill. By refocusing my efforts into my passions and creativity, I have began to see prospects and avenues I could go down in the future not only to flourish in my passion but turn it into something prosperous. As I am still on this journey it’s hard to say at this point if success is on the horizon, but I don’t care for me it’s freeing to have an outlet for the moment and I’m excited to see where it could take me through my 30s…(as a side note most entrepreneurs and tech start ups co founders average around the age of 45 with success compared to those who decide to at 25)
It certainly is an exciting and heightened time for you in your 30s as with more time and better prospects comes choices for travel and gap years. It’s been studied that most people who tend to travel and gain knowledge by doing so are from 30 to 40 years old.Compared to the 20 year olds who just travel to get drunk…been there done that. With your openness to grow more yourself, you become more interested and curious about the rest of the world and what it can offer you in terms of human growth.
Another form of adventure which may be the most exciting is you sex life…yes…your sex life.
Knowing what you want and how you want it has been learnt and discovered throughout your 20s and now with a partner you feel mutual with, both can have the best sex they’ve ever had!
This comes down to communication mostly and with the increase in stamina and a lower testosterone for men, it can be quite an experience.
For me during our current climate I can only hope that borders to the world can become open and travel will once again resume so I can take full advantage of the journey through the next decade and stay humble doing so.
Else for the second adventure…no complaints…none 😎
So with your 10 knowledgeable facts about becoming 30 and how rich and healthy they can be for you as a person, state of mind and body. I think it’s time we renamed the ‘dirty 30s’ and rename them the ‘Defining 30s.’ It describes exactly what it is and what to expect when your hurdling towards them.
Thank you for reading.
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