Next month will start what I am now referring to as “Chapter 2!” (Dr Evil laser beam voice)
My main reasoning for this is …I believe that every 20 years besides your first ten, are chapters. 4 in total, 5 if your lucky.
You see it has taken me from 10 until now with 30 approaching that I finally get it!
First you have your naive stages of growing and learning and then progressing to rebellion and anarchy. From 20 onwards it’s loss of self and confusion for the most part and not really understanding your direction.
Or if you have chosen a path you’re not entirely comfortable with it.
It’s true that from age 25 to 28, those 3 years are like an early mid life crisis. You can see your friends growing up. Some settling down with a house and kids, others choosing to go stir crazy and self sabotaging because they can’t find a way forward.
It’s a scary time, I was in between. Stuck in a relationship going nowhere and rolling along with the punches. Then when I couldn’t break free from the restraints of wasting my 20s I’d go get drunk.Standard really.
Although it sounds horrible and sad, you actually don’t recognize you’re doing it at all.Your’e not the only one in that 3 year hole you see. Others like you are experiencing their own early life crisis wether settling too soon or not finding that career they thought they would have by now.
It’s not until 29 approaches, you wake up one morning and make a massive decision. This happened to me in 2018. I couldn’t bare it any longer and decided enough was enough!
Breaking my long term relationship and starting a new path of discovery. And it felt amazing. I’ve no idea where this sudden push came from but sitting here now. I’m glad it happened.
With wasting your 20s comes making mistakes. And with those mistakes brings big life lessons.
It was these 10 crucial years of disorientation that led me to knowing what I actually wanted in life and for my own life moving forward. Although I was unbalanced in my direction I knew that this time I would have more knowledge of how to handle some things given a second chance.
Career, friendships and relationships. I would be able to finally grow into the person I wanted to be and needed to. I moved from home got my own place and a good job position. I was heading in the right direction,problem was I didn’t give myself time to prepare which later led to health issues and stress. I struggled a lot standing on my own two feet again and it is not easy.
I’m glad I did it, I persevered through this time without giving up. I knew that if I worked hard and became confident I would be able to create a better environment for me and most importantly attract better friends and better prospects for relationships.
In short, by doing these things I now have an amazing husband a year and a half later, I am more content than I’ve ever been and happy with where I am , who I’m with and what I’m doing.
Now why did I tell you this small bio?…well partly to let those in their 20s know that they are not alone.
Be confused, make mistakes figure out what you like and don’t like. Even if you are not prepared a time will come when you will instinctively know wether you have wasted them or have chosen a distinct path for yourself.
Then you will be able to see clearly and be hopeful for the next chapter in your 30s.
I can honestly say that I am looking forward to the next decade. To be clear headed,happy and driven. It’s not to say life won’t throw a curve ball most times but I’m confident I can handle them properly and maturely without losing my balance.
If I were to write a short list for those who are currently looking to start fresh or choose a path they have Yenned for it would be this…
- Know who is important to you, what is important to you and where is important for you.
- Be content with your relationship and if it can be worked on, make it your greatest career achievement in life. However if it isn’t working,walk away knowing you did all you could and learn from it so you know what you want in a partner in the future.
- Spend your time wisely, wether it be people, watching tv or study. We can’t multi task…fact! One will always suffer so focus on one thing, finish it then move on.(always do the hardest first then it’s all downhill 😉)
- If you suffer from anxiety and stress like I do, educate yourself on ways to deal with it. It’s all mental so find what makes you calm and focused rather than what fuels and feeds it.Your problems will always be there waiting after you’ve stressed so get it over with.
- Evoke your passions, they don’t have to be your career, they can be hobbies that you can grow into something beautiful and maybe in the future it could become something prosperous .
- Go in with no expectations and live for the moment. This is in regards to relationships and plans ( they say every time you plan something god laughs)
- Take time to know who you are, if you don’t like what you hear from people it’s probably because you know they’re telling you the truth so change it one day at a time. Always stay strong though in what you like about yourself and never belittle it for others because that’s your strength!
- Finally laugh, smile and be kind it’s soo much easier than being an ignorant know it all (you don’t know everything so be humble and deflate your head) *this was a big one that I recognised and still keep tabs on today.
Even if that’s all you’ve taken away from this blog, I hope it starts a fresh foundation for you to work through the rough parts and create something beautiful for you, your life and goals.
For me I had to pull myself through some hard times to learn these things but because of this I know myself, I know who I am and what direction I want to take.
It might not always go to plan and life never does and I’m fine with it. I can’t convert the course of life’s structure but I can make sure I enjoy it and make good decisions for myself when the opportunity arises.
Optimism can be difficult and change is awful but it happens wether we like it or not.Since 30 is approaching I need to accept the change and be happy with it and grow with it rather than against it.
I look back at the last 20 years and I’ve grown and laughed and made mistakes that changed my life but overall I’m glad it happened because I’m stronger and more experienced now.
So here’s to the 2nd chapter and for those of you whose also celebrating a 30th birthday in August “Happy Birthday!!” You old fart haha
You’re life does not end at 30, there’s a lot of people out their who hit there peak from that age (tune in for follow up blogs on this topic)
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